It Wasn't Enough: The Seventh in a Series on Infertility, Miscarriages and Adoption
We had one gorgeous, healthy baby girl. It was all we ever wanted.
But it wasn’t enough.
As mentioned in the last post, our desperation for a second child came because of our first. Grace was the catalyst that made us realize how much we wanted a sibling for her and how the desire for a second wasn’t for us as much as it was for her. Anyone who is a parent knows that the motivation and determination you have to provide for your child goes well beyond any needs for yourself.
So here we were…we had just moved to the other side of the world in Singapore and we were faced with the daunting task of going through IVF all over again. We had just spent the last 5 years of our lives finding the perfect doctors who knew us, our situation and our bodies. We had to start all over again and because of insurance reasons, our new life overseas was going to make this infertility journey even more expensive than the last one.
By the never ending grace of God, we found our doctor, Dr. Abu-Wong, at Mount Elizabeth in Singapore (I highly recommend her!) and we started the process over again. It was long, tiring and stressful but we were hopeful and ready. Grace was just over a year old and with her birth such a success we knew it was going to work again!
Remember God’s plan vs our plan? God’s won out.
We remember the call telling us we were pregnant. Elation and excitement overcame us both and it brought us back to the memories of call we got when we conceived Grace. However there was an asterek by this call. Our numbers weren’t high and I needed some boosting medication to hopefully get them where we needed them to be because we were in jeopardy of losing the baby, but the doctor was still positive.
After calling our immediate family, I was alone in the house with my maid. Suddenly I started bleeding and I knew it was over. My maid, who over the 8 years we have known her, came to be family to us. She comforted me and cared for me in my time of despair. It was so emotional and devastating. Not only did I just lose a human being in my body, but that desperation of wanting a second child and losing so much financially with this miscarriage, I just didn’t know how we were going to make this work.
Who knew the answer was in the works at that very moment.
In fact, it was that week I miscarried our daughter was actually being delivered in a different country to a different mother.
But it wasn’t enough.
As mentioned in the last post, our desperation for a second child came because of our first. Grace was the catalyst that made us realize how much we wanted a sibling for her and how the desire for a second wasn’t for us as much as it was for her. Anyone who is a parent knows that the motivation and determination you have to provide for your child goes well beyond any needs for yourself.
So here we were…we had just moved to the other side of the world in Singapore and we were faced with the daunting task of going through IVF all over again. We had just spent the last 5 years of our lives finding the perfect doctors who knew us, our situation and our bodies. We had to start all over again and because of insurance reasons, our new life overseas was going to make this infertility journey even more expensive than the last one.
By the never ending grace of God, we found our doctor, Dr. Abu-Wong, at Mount Elizabeth in Singapore (I highly recommend her!) and we started the process over again. It was long, tiring and stressful but we were hopeful and ready. Grace was just over a year old and with her birth such a success we knew it was going to work again!
Remember God’s plan vs our plan? God’s won out.
We remember the call telling us we were pregnant. Elation and excitement overcame us both and it brought us back to the memories of call we got when we conceived Grace. However there was an asterek by this call. Our numbers weren’t high and I needed some boosting medication to hopefully get them where we needed them to be because we were in jeopardy of losing the baby, but the doctor was still positive.
After calling our immediate family, I was alone in the house with my maid. Suddenly I started bleeding and I knew it was over. My maid, who over the 8 years we have known her, came to be family to us. She comforted me and cared for me in my time of despair. It was so emotional and devastating. Not only did I just lose a human being in my body, but that desperation of wanting a second child and losing so much financially with this miscarriage, I just didn’t know how we were going to make this work.
Who knew the answer was in the works at that very moment.
In fact, it was that week I miscarried our daughter was actually being delivered in a different country to a different mother.