Desperation for a Second: The Sixth in the Series on Infertility, Miscarriages and Adoption
After those emotional days of trying to conceive and finally getting giving birth to our daughter Grace, we were incredibly grateful. And desperate.
After our first ultrasound with Grace, it was confirmed we were having twins and we were really, really excited. We knew we always wanted our children to have siblings, like Peter and I both grew up with. Twins gave us two at one time! Considering how hard it was to conceive once, the idea of never having to do that again was pretty awesome.
However, that was not to be the plan. It’s funny how AFTER major things happen in your life, you can see the bigger plan behind it. Hindsight is truly 20/20. In our case, it was hard to see the plan while we were in the midst of the haze.
We lost one of the babies early on yet were blessed with a healthy baby girl. However, soon after delivering Grace, we knew we wanted to have another child and the desperation we felt to have that second child was surprising to both of us. We both remember the annoyance at the couples in the fertility clinics working so hard to have a second child when all we wanted was one.
And yet, there we were, a desperate couple trying to have a second. We realized, after having Grace, that our desire for a second child had less to do with us and much more to do with her. As all parents can relate to, the moment you have a child a light switch of sorts turns on. A light switch that before her birth never existed. I didn’t know a love like that existed or was possible…and thank God I didn’t have the switch turned on before I gave birth. I can’t imagine having a love for that with no child to call your own.
So our need, desire and desperation for a second child had to do with what we felt we needed for our child as opposed to what we needed for ourselves. Little did we know the journey for a second would be more dramatic and stressful then the first, but the struggles made it that much more amazing.
After our first ultrasound with Grace, it was confirmed we were having twins and we were really, really excited. We knew we always wanted our children to have siblings, like Peter and I both grew up with. Twins gave us two at one time! Considering how hard it was to conceive once, the idea of never having to do that again was pretty awesome.
However, that was not to be the plan. It’s funny how AFTER major things happen in your life, you can see the bigger plan behind it. Hindsight is truly 20/20. In our case, it was hard to see the plan while we were in the midst of the haze.
We lost one of the babies early on yet were blessed with a healthy baby girl. However, soon after delivering Grace, we knew we wanted to have another child and the desperation we felt to have that second child was surprising to both of us. We both remember the annoyance at the couples in the fertility clinics working so hard to have a second child when all we wanted was one.
And yet, there we were, a desperate couple trying to have a second. We realized, after having Grace, that our desire for a second child had less to do with us and much more to do with her. As all parents can relate to, the moment you have a child a light switch of sorts turns on. A light switch that before her birth never existed. I didn’t know a love like that existed or was possible…and thank God I didn’t have the switch turned on before I gave birth. I can’t imagine having a love for that with no child to call your own.
So our need, desire and desperation for a second child had to do with what we felt we needed for our child as opposed to what we needed for ourselves. Little did we know the journey for a second would be more dramatic and stressful then the first, but the struggles made it that much more amazing.