Bon Voyage! Our Boat Trip Begins: The Third in the Series on Infertility, Miscarriages and Adoption
In my last post, I shared with you a poem called “Different Trips to the Same Place” which outlines, so clearly, what it is like to experience the journey of infertility. As the poem so clearly describes, deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to a beautiful and exotic island…but when getting pregnant is a struggle, you have been forced to journey there by boat, instead of a plane. Eventually you get there, but after a long, treacherous trip.
As Peter and I tried to take off by flight to that beautiful and exotic island of parenting, we found out, after a year of trying to buy a ticket, that our flight was grounded, indefinitely. We would be taking a boat and needed to plan on the real possibility of never arriving.
One year after tracking my cycles and managing to turn the fun of baby making into a chore, we were both questioning why we weren’t pregnant yet. A trip to my doctor helped ease my mind that we were probably fine but that running a few tests would probably be a good idea, at this point. Well, we all know the outcome of that part of the story. It took weeks and many tests, but we finally were diagnosed with what was likely the cause of our infertility. Peter’s low sperm count and its quality were believed to be the function of our inability to get pregnant. Knowing the “why” didn’t necessarily help to make either of us feel better. We didn’t really care who’s “fault” it was, promising well before any test results came out, that we were in this together and should one of us be diagnosed as “infertile” we would define ourselves as an “infertile couple.”
Although hearing the words that having a baby through anything but IVF could be a long shot, we felt better knowing what we were faced with. Due to insurance costs and our own savings, we decided to start with the less invasive and more economically sound choice of insemination. I often liken it to the “Turkey Baster” method which is, just as you would think, placing that sperm to the right place at the right time. Well, fast forward almost two years, 7 inseminations, 2 surgeries and 1 emergency trip to the hospital, we still weren’t pregnant. I had exploratory surgeries and a burst cyst that caused the emergency trip, but no baby.
It looked like it was time to start exploring other options.
As Peter and I tried to take off by flight to that beautiful and exotic island of parenting, we found out, after a year of trying to buy a ticket, that our flight was grounded, indefinitely. We would be taking a boat and needed to plan on the real possibility of never arriving.
One year after tracking my cycles and managing to turn the fun of baby making into a chore, we were both questioning why we weren’t pregnant yet. A trip to my doctor helped ease my mind that we were probably fine but that running a few tests would probably be a good idea, at this point. Well, we all know the outcome of that part of the story. It took weeks and many tests, but we finally were diagnosed with what was likely the cause of our infertility. Peter’s low sperm count and its quality were believed to be the function of our inability to get pregnant. Knowing the “why” didn’t necessarily help to make either of us feel better. We didn’t really care who’s “fault” it was, promising well before any test results came out, that we were in this together and should one of us be diagnosed as “infertile” we would define ourselves as an “infertile couple.”
Although hearing the words that having a baby through anything but IVF could be a long shot, we felt better knowing what we were faced with. Due to insurance costs and our own savings, we decided to start with the less invasive and more economically sound choice of insemination. I often liken it to the “Turkey Baster” method which is, just as you would think, placing that sperm to the right place at the right time. Well, fast forward almost two years, 7 inseminations, 2 surgeries and 1 emergency trip to the hospital, we still weren’t pregnant. I had exploratory surgeries and a burst cyst that caused the emergency trip, but no baby.
It looked like it was time to start exploring other options.